Monster

This is a pretty disturbing short film which has now been made into a feature length that I can't wait to see called "The Babadook". Enjoy ;)

Billy Elliot The Musical Excerpts

Yesterday I went to see Billy Elliot The Musical Live in a local theater. It was broadcast from London's West End, where Billy is still playing (the Broadway version closed several years ago). It was a beautiful performance that included several surprises. One was that 1 of the first Billys ever, Liam Mower, returned to play older Billy during the Swan Lake scene. It was amazing to see him all grown up and moving as gracefully as ever (apparently he is a renowned ballet dancer though I confess I hadn't known). Another was that the entire show was being filmed for a dvd/bluray release which is awesome news for fans like myself who love both the show and music. Lastly, countless actors who have played Billy over the years returned, including the other two originals from the West End, to do a special finale. It was pretty amazing. For those who may not know, Billy Elliot is about the UK miner's strike and 1 struggling family during that time with a son who discovers, quite by accident, that he has a natural talent for dance. Unfortunately, dancing, and more importantly ballet, is not considered a man's endeavor, especially in the working class confines of Thatcher era Islington. The musical is Billy's story of how he overcomes the odds to follow his dream. This is a collection of clips from the Broadway version of Billy. I saw the West End version once when I visited London and the NYC version 3 times. 3 boys shared the role of Billy at any one time in both cities, but as luck would have it, all 3 times I went to see Broadway's Billy I happened to catch the one featured in this clip, Kiril Kulish. He did an amazing job which is why I've chosen this version to post. You can find loads of clips from all different versions of the show online. The cuts can be maddening, especially if you don't already know the music like me, but its a nice Cliffs Note version of the musical. Enjoy :)

Broken Wing

Your head was held low with a winsome smile
You lied and told me that was your style.
Found out much later it was only a defense,
a cautious, insecure kind of pretense.
But the die had long since been cast,
I had no knowledge of your misplaced past...
and I was yours.


Two souls enraptured and love soon took flight
our bodies intertwined and hands held each night.
Both of us thinking our bond ran more deep,
neither expecting to pay a price so steep.
The glory days were finished before they had started,
We were marking time and dreading when we would be parted...
but the end was near.


What at first seemed like a broken wing
is now revealed to be another thing.
A perilous weight suspended above
held up only by the remaining wisps of our love.
And it won't matter how much love we bring
in the end you'll still suffer more than a broken wing.


Two smiles long since faded to a barren stare
left only a simmering but unspoken fury there.
Moments of joy were infrequent and short,
a half empty bed spoke what we couldn't retort.
The chill of our silence brought nothing but pain
and a quiet but veiled and crushing disdain...
that had once been our love.


Waiting for redemption with fists clenched tight
regretting the day when our love was first given light.
What once seemed like a diamond at first glance,
which we thought would shine brightly given a chance
has now become a countdown to our very demise
inevitably leaving us with tear-stained eyes...
the end has come.


What at first seemed like a broken wing
at last is a wholly other thing.
And all the love I feel for you
can't keep from me what I now know to be true
this dreaded secret, this other thing
treads much deeper than your broken wing.

Hulk vs Superman

When the Trap Beat Hits

Pride?

I was kind of forced to have an internal dialogue with myself recently about whether or not my support of Pride is hypocritical. As anyone who has followed me on any social platform for a while undoubtedly already knows, hypocrisy is a huge pet peeve for me. I mean, lets face it, at some point or another every human is forced by circumstance to be a hypocrite. The trick is to learn from it and not to let it become the norm for you. That said, I would never want to be a hypocrite about something so personally important to me. My followers will also be aware that I am a huge proponent of pride, LGBTI rights, and equality. Though I've had huge issues with self esteem and personal pride, never ever in my life have I not been proud to be gay. I was afraid to tell people as a lot of us are. But in my heart I was always certain that this was a beautiful and unique and amazing thing to call my own. For many years I was the only queer in my family, at least that I was aware of. Only recently did my mother explain that her cousin had passed away and that she was survived by her partner of several decades. I'd met the woman maybe once or twice when I was little and not yet aware of my own sexuality. I felt sad that there was a queer connection right there in my own family that had been kept so hush hush that it took the woman's death for me to be made aware of it. But then she was probably thirty years older than me at least. It was a different generation. Those were different times. I constantly find myself saying things like "Jeez this is 2014 why the fuck is this still an issue?" and I know a lot of us feel that way. Things have changed so much for the better recently. Countless celebrities have come out, queers can openly serve in the military, in some Churches, in government. Many states are starting to balance out the rule of law for queers, whether it be about marriage or job discrimination. I always think back to 1 thing very clearly that reminds me just how far we've come in my lifetime. Fittingly, its music since music has been and always will be an extremely important part of my life. When I was little Boy George was a huge star. You would think that queer visibility would be at an all time high then. The guy was a dude with long hair wearing makeup who wrote songs about being in love with the hot guy who stood behind him on stage for chrissakes! And yet, looks wise he was pushing it as far as he could but it wasn't like he was announcing in every interview "Yes I'm gay and I'm in love with Jon". Far from it. At this very same time Elton John was marrying a woman! And I remember 2 of my classmates having a discussion about George Michael that went something along these lines: "I like that song." "Dude, that guy is gay fuck that song." "He's not gay!" "He's got earrings in BOTH ears, of course he's gay!" (This was long b4 emos and scene dudes remember lol).

So the movement has come a long way and so have I. Yet still I have moments of hypocrisy. And they trouble me. I've never come out to my Dad. Not because I am ashamed to tell him. More because we've never had a close emotional relationship and I don't want to share that part of my life with him. But this weekend when I saw him and his side of the family for a Father's Day get together, the word "faggot" was bandied about at least once about some actor or another as it always is. They've always been racist. Its a part of my family that I abhor and try to be better than every day of my life. So I shouldn't have been surprised or disappointed anew. But I did feel a twinge of disappointment in myself. How can I be all excited about going to NYC Pride at the end of the month in good consicence when I don't defend my and every other LGBTI'ers honor in my own family? The same goes for where I work. I've never actively hid who I am from anyone. But I don't talk openly about who I'm dating. I guess I've always kept it to myself because years earlier I knew it would make people uncomfortable. It probably still would. But fuck them. Why shouldn't I talk about something so important in my life? This came to a head recently when trying to get off of work the day of Pride. The question was bound to come up "What do you need off for?" and I replied "A family thing." though mostly because I was afraid the person in charge of giving me off would not think Pride was an adequate reason to take off. Of course I'm overlooking the simplest explanation. Maybe the shyness that affects every facet of my life affects this part as well. Certainly if you read my Twitter you know that in words I am VERY outgoing. But in person I've always been painfully shy. I can be loud and humorous, but that humor is masking lots and lots of trepidation. I think for now I have to conclude that though it might make me a hypocrite at times it in no way means I am not proud to be who I am. As I said, being gay is 1 of the few things I love about myself without question. In the case of my father, perhaps 1 day I will share that part of myself with him but for now I'd like to avoid any embarrassing and awkward conversations. As for work, I am resolving to be more open about my life with those who are open to it. We should all have Pride not just this month but every day of every year and be honored to stand as one. Let's face it: we wouldn't have gotten nearly this far if the previous generations hadn't done that.

Trick Shots

Not sure about the Mickey D's involvement (is this a commercial?) but these shots are awesome :)