Just a Clarification

It saddens me that if I ever did really kill myself it would give homophobes lots of ammo to say "Oh he did that because he was gay and that made him unhappy and suicidal". One of my worst thoughts is that even my Mother, standing over my grave, would be thinking to herself "If only he'd been straight and found the right girl." I'd like to clarify once and for all that this line of thinking is simply utter nonsense. I was born gay, I've always been gay, it is not something I CAN change or would ever WANT to change. The fact is, being gay is actually one of the most amazing and enriching aspects of my life. Lets face it, any second long glance at this blog or my Twitter will let you know immediately that I love penis. But even disregarding the physical aspect of it, the times I've felt least alone and part of a community have always been amongst gay people. Being gay has taught me many things I would not have learned otherwise: Compassion. Empathy. The power of proving haters wrong. What it feels like to be a trailblazer. The fact is, going against the norm can actually be an extremely empowering thing at times, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. I have mental issues besides that 1 aspect of my life which cause me to suffer no matter what. And they've always made it hard for me to socialize and be a functioning part of society. Being gay has been a gift, in essence, not the curse some might tend to call it in light of my other problems. I just wanted to clarify that :)