Requiem

If my actions leave you in shock
then you haven't been paying attention.
I've opened my soul to the world
more times than I can mention.


Allow me to gently remind you
of my years spent masking the pain.
Time spent searching for meaning
from which there was no refrain.


Though many loved me beyond measure
my own heart usually failed to see.
I never quite lived up to my expectations,
never quite became what I thought I should be.


What to do when your thoughts turn dark
but placate them despite their intent?
How to resist the cold lure of impulse
how do you not give in and consent?


Although the heartbreak will never subside
but simply gets gifted to those
who stood by you through every crisis
not understanding fully what they chose.


So forgive the last selfish act of a fool
and weep not for the end of my time.
Allow these words to be my requiem,
let them sing out forever in a sadness divine.