Immeasurable

Here I stand, on this precipice
staring gently into the abyss
realizing bleakly that I am remiss
for not taking stock in the past.


My spurious choices now at an end
my years of wandering so hard to defend
but before I sigh and prepare to descend
one question rears itself quite fast.


Was I a good man, loyal and true
respectful of all varying points of view?
Did I do what I could to try and imbue
those around me with a kindness so vast?


How to measure such an oblique concern?
By all that I've taught and all I've learned?
By all the vices I've chosen to spurn
so my life defied being miscast?


Maybe it's judged by the people you touch
who without your presence might need a crutch
yet your very existence saves them as such
from any heartache they might have amassed.


Or perhaps it's the treasures and material things
offering comfort from whatever life brings
allowing you peace with spread and hopeful wings
that you might escape life's angry bombast.


I think it's simpler, and measure it so:
Did I spread only love when I was laid low?
Did I banish judgement and have evil forego
it's whisperings while it looked on aghast?


So now when the abyss lovingly draws near
I'll ponder gently on what should always have been clear
how empty my world will seem when I disappear
and then I'll take the hand of contentment at last.


Some things are immeasurable while we remain
part of this life and this Earthly plain.
Just cherish the time and try to stay sane
and all other grievances will be outclassed.