A Rather Unremarkable Anniversary (Though it is terribly important to me)

 

    Ten years ago today, I first started writing this blog with the immortal words:

The Prologue to my version of The Great American Novel (sounds ego-driven but is not, do mind the awkward layout)

followed by a lengthy prologue to said novel in progress followed by 2 years of silence. I think I was caught up in Twitter at the time and my life wasn't very conducive to writing. I had blogged previously on MySpace, all of which has since been lost to time with the rest of that website sadly. I had always tried to post with honesty no matter where I posted content, something which has cost me several Facebooks and numerous Twitters and 10k followers on Instagram at one point and no doubt garnered me many haters. Not that I'm bragging. Honestly. But I always seem to piss somebody off with what I write or post, whether it be for a blunt political opinion or foul language or bad taste or nudity and porn. That last one is crucial because porn and nudity and sex has always been an important factor in my life. I have a very open attitude about sex and porn (as you've no doubt already been made aware if you've been following this blog) and I detest censorship so the fact that most websites will not let you post nudity or porn (even with a private account or warnings) pisses me off. So I applaud Blogger for that in and of itself. I've posted LOTS of nudity here over the years and none of it has been challenged. Of course, that could be due to the fact that so few people follow me on here but I digress. It is a good thing. I think it's cost Blogger a lot of respect in the blogging world. My Iphone refuses to run most of my posts and always gives me a message to the effect of "This website is outdated and will not run properly with Iphone" although since they've upgraded the site (much to my friend John's disappointment) perhaps it now works properly with Apple who knows. The functionality of the site does not do me any favors as far as following people and keeping in touch. I wish I had a "feed" that I could read but if there is a way to view the site like that I've never found it so I often have to find the blogs I want to catch up with manually which is a pain.

    So 2 years goes by, and bereft of any new novel content to post, I wrote a short post which said:

New Blogging Excitement

I originally started this blog to post snippets of my novel and get feedback. Phooey! Lets start watching vids and porn and shit. I just need a space to post stuff I'm interested in at the moment, so this has become it until further notice. Enjoy!

 And so I did, starting one month later by sharing other people's content that moved me, first of which was a One Direction video followed by a video of a dude shooting a load of cum on his desktop. So right away, even with the presence of One Direction, you got the sense that you were not in Disney territory here. Shortly after, I wrote my first post about my depression and suicidal thoughts which contained the immortal line "Right now, I pretty much want to be dead every minute of every day." which is heartbreaking to re-read and also makes me happy to report ten years later that even with the pandemic raging, I haven't sunk to those particular lows recently or in quite some time. But then the train was rolling and there was no stopping it. Emotional floodgates had opened, and along with the porn and music and funny videos also came my thoughts on movies, long musings about life, and even the rare naughty pic of myself which, given my horribly low self esteem, in hindsight I'm really rather proud of myself for. Point check: I'm no Adonis. Never have been, never will be. But I think everybody should occasionally be able to feel the freedom of posting a naughty pic and reveling in it as best they can. My posting has always been sporadic. I only posted a total of 10 things between 2017 and 2018. My 2 most productive years were 2015 and 2016 with 46 and 48 posts, respectively, followed I'm proud to say by 2019 and 2020 with over 30 posts each. The pandemic certainly helped me in that regard. With nothing else to do, venting my thoughts became paramount once again.

    I've only ever had 7 subscribers, of whom I am eternally grateful. Although I would have vented without any audience, it of course helps my motivation when at least a few people are always guaranteed to at least be given a chance to read my posts, so to those 7 people who've stuck with me through the years I want to say thank you. Second point check: I must confess that I don't even know how to subscribe to other people's blogs on here but I'm determined to learn. At one point, over 150 people were viewing my posts, probably due to my sharing of them on my now defunct Twitter. The average number of eyeballs to glance at one of my posts is around 20 (for a good post....or porn usually lol). But although I am fascinated with numbers and stats, I've never let it dictate what I post. If I did that, I would certainly drop the porn and go the Disney route. They're doing very well as I'm sure you're aware. But I dislike fake people, so I can't very well follow a fake muse. That said, maybe if I did I would be a successful published author right now. Alas, here we are. Final note: I also have no idea how to contact people through this site. If anybody does read this and wants to get back in touch or keep in touch please leave a comment about how we can do that (besides commenting on each other's posts which I've done but the site doesn't notify you when you get a comment reply or vice versa so wtf is that about?).

    So I'm patting myself on the back for the first ten years. Job done. I wouldn't grant myself well done. It's still an issue for me. Let's see where we're at in the next 10 years.